“Where was my skin color and hair texture?”

I never wanted to talk about race or matters related. I always wanted to blend in, and assimilate as much as possible. But I’ve been thinking and getting frustrated, and this is my page, soo... !!
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Where was my skin color and hair texture? Representation molds and shapes our ideas of what is good and beautiful.
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I have been watching Sister, Sister on Netflix a LOT recently and loved it! There are people who look like me... but I’ve also noticed they don’t quite look like me. They have beautiful naturally long hair and lighter skin than I do. Oftentimes I have noticed that when the media does portray Black women, it’s usually ones with healthy, long strong hair and lighter skin. Reflecting on some of my favorite shows and movies growing up (and let’s be honest, now!), ones that come to mind are: Ice Princess, Hannah Montana, Camp Rock, etc. where was my hair and my skin? Now before you comment, that doesn’t matter, think again: these are my experiences and my truths, and you cannot know or embody what I experience as a human. It is harmful and frustrating to only see thin light skinned people and wonder if there is something wrong with you.
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Now, there’s Viola Davis and Aja Naomi King and the likes, but think about their access to weaves and wigs and decadent hair care. Think about how even when there are Black characters, the norm is to have them as side characters or with light skin and long hair. This just isn’t the reality of many Black girls. Sometimes our hair is really short and “unruly”; it’s not like the pictures and people we see in the media.
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Growing up, I thought my hair was supposed to be like the people I saw on television, and I am just now learning it will never look like that. It’s just not made that way. I wish I could say “that’s okay”, I’ve learned to accept my hair as it is, but I still look admirably at others, hoping I will achieve those beauty standards. And I think that is part of why body image for Black women specifically can be difficult in a different way: we work our way towards thinness only to find that our skin isn’t light enough, our hair isn’t straight enough, we are always represented as disadvantaged.

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I don’t know how many of you identify as Black, but I know this has dearly shaped my experiences and perceptions of beauty. It is a work in progress: acceptance, and an added layer for sure, but I am hoping that I can bring some representation by existing joyfully (although not always because I’m human) in my body as I learn to push back against the “ideals” of beauty and recognize myself as my own kind of beautiful.

Shared by Mimi. Follow her along on IG here!