Healing Hearts: Coping with Grief and Loss
I cannot believe that it has been a whole year since I lost one of my best friends to a tragedy. June 21, 2023 was one of the hardest days of my life. Even a whole year later, it still doesn’t seem real to me. I still cannot contemplate what happened. Why was her life cut so short? We lost a wonderful daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, aunt, cousin, friend, partner, climber, and future nurse.
Tears fall silently,
Shared dreams now drift on the wind,
Friendship's gentle sigh.
Dalia touched my life in soooo many ways. She was such a go-getter and a strong, independent and hard-working person. Her contagious laugh and beautiful smile would light up the room, the whole climbing gym; she was the best listener and always gave me the exact words that I needed to hear.
She knew what she wanted in life, she knew how to live life, and she never backed down from a challenge. Her perseverance, studiousness and determination in what she did always inspired and empowered me.
We shared so much in common: our love for nature, passion for the great outdoors, and our excitement to hike, rock climb, go on lake walks and take pilates classes. We both loved watching the sunsets. We both loved country music and Fage Greek yogurt. We both loved to travel and go on adventures. We had so many national park trips that we wanted to go on together—so many international climbing trips that we wanted to take together.
In Dalia's embrace,
Joy blooms like springtime,
Friendship's gift divine.
Like me, Dalia also struggled with anxiety. And she was always there for me when I needed anxiety help and advice and she always knew what to say to me. I had her to lean on in stressful times and I am forever grateful for her guidance and support. She helped teach (and show) me how to take care of my mental and emotional wellbeing.
Friendship is a tapestry woven with threads of trust, laughter, and shared experiences. It's the comforting presence during life's highs and lows, a safe harbor where vulnerabilities are accepted without judgment. True friendship transcends time and distance, nurturing a bond that feels like family. It's about understanding each other deeply, offering unwavering support, and celebrating each other's successes as if they were our own. And Dalia knew this like no other—she wasn’t just my friend, but also my sister, my confidante and my inspiration.
Losing a best friend is a profound reminder of the richness they brought to our lives, leaving an indelible mark on our hearts with their kindness, humor, and unwavering loyalty. Although I lost a best friend so suddenly and much too quickly, experiencing the various stages of grief over the last year has taught me profound lessons that has reshaped my understanding of life and ourselves.
Lessons Learned:
Resilience: Grief often tests our resilience in profound ways. It taught me that we have the strength to endure immense emotional pain and still find reasons to carry on.
Priorities: Losing someone close can shift our perspective on what truly matters in life. It can make us reassess our priorities, focusing more on meaningful relationships and experiences rather than material things.
Vulnerability and Strength: Grief exposes our vulnerability, showing us that it's okay to feel deeply and to seek support from others. It also reveals our inner strength as we navigate through difficult emotions and continue to live our lives despite the pain. So much immense gratitude to my parents, therapist and friends for helping me through the toughest of days.
Acceptance of Impermanence: One of the hardest lessons of grief is accepting the impermanence of life. It teaches us that everything and everyone is temporary, urging us to cherish the moments we have with loved ones. (This one really hit me hard and made me more reflective of the life we have.)
Empathy: Going through grief can deepen our empathy for others who are suffering. It helps us recognize and understand the pain that others may be experiencing, fostering a greater sense of compassion and connection.
Connection: Through grief, we often find ourselves drawn closer to others who share our loss. It strengthens our bonds with friends, family, and community members who provide comfort and solidarity.
Experiencing grief is very overwhelming and painful. The past year, I struggled with severe anxiety, countless panic attacks and hopeless emotional breakdowns. I always thought something was wrong with me. I lived in constant fear that something bad was going to happen to me or to someone I love (I am still working on unraveling and coping with all of this with my therapist.) I didn’t realize that most of these struggles came back to grief.
Heart races, breath short,
Anxiety's grip tightens,
Silent storm within.
I have learned that grief, though profoundly challenging, serves as a catalyst for personal growth by compelling me to confront and navigate intense emotions that accompany loss. Through this emotional journey, I have discovered (and still am discovering) hidden reservoirs of resilience, learning to cope with profound sadness and longing while adapting to life's inevitable changes. Grief has deepened my empathy for others and helped me understand the universality of human suffering. Here are some key insights I have gained and am continually learning.:
Personal Growth:
Self-Discovery: Grief has been a journey of self-discovery for me, revealing aspects of myself that I had not fully acknowledged before. It forced me to confront some of my deepest fears, desires, and vulnerabilities.
Emotional Awareness: It enhanced my emotional awareness and intelligence, making me more attuned to my own feelings as well as those of others. This heightened sensitivity could help lead to deeper, more authentic relationships.
Coping Skills: My therapist helped me realize that, over time, grief can equip us with new coping skills and resilience strategies. I am learning healthier ways to manage stress, sadness, and other challenging emotions.
Perspective Shift: Going through this period of grief has helped me see life from a broader and more compassionate viewpoint. It is helping me to become more patient, tolerant, and forgiving as I recognize the frailty of human existence.
Renewed Purpose: Grief can inspire a renewed sense of purpose or a desire to live more intentionally. It motivates us to make positive changes in our lives or to pursue goals that hold deeper meaning.
Spiritual Growth: Grief can also propel spiritual growth or a search for deeper meaning in life. It prompts existential questions about life, death, and the nature of existence, leading to personal insights and spiritual awakenings. (This has been a big one for me!)
Grief, with its profound weight and piercing ache, has become an unexpected teacher for me in the classroom of life. It has taught me the resilience of the human spirit, showing that even amidst the darkest storms of sorrow, there is a capacity to endure and eventually find solace. Grief has illuminated the fragility of time, urging me to cherish each moment with loved ones as a precious gift. Grief has deepened my empathy, forging connections through shared experiences of loss and reminding me of the universal bond of human emotions. Ultimately, it has taught me that while loss is inevitable, the journey through grief can lead to personal growth, resilience, and a profound appreciation for the beauty and fleeting nature of life's intricate tapestry.
There will always be this eerie, empty void without Dalia here with us. The world is just not the same. Dalia had such a beautiful and uplifting presence amongst us all. I miss her so, so much. I think of her a bit every day, be it while walking outside, rock climbing, coloring, eating Fage Greek yogurt or sitting outside in the sun. I feel her empowering spirit in nature, rippling through the creek waters, whooshing in the breeze, sparkling down with the sunshine.
Dalia, gentle as breeze,
Nature's spirit intertwined,
In harmony's dance.
Dalia, I hope you found new outdoor adventures and mountains to climb up there. Thanks for being such an amazing friend, sister and climbing partner. I love you so much, forever and always. 💛💛
